Slowly but Surely.

The ups and downs of learning a language. Last Friday, I almost had a break down during class. Let me prefrace this with the fact that I still have perfectionist tendencies especially when learning something. I am at the point that if someone speaks slow enough and in simple language...elementary school level...I can understand. I know basic grammer and present tense and preterite tense. It is so hard for me to talk in Spanish. I do not like being corrected and get frustrated that it takes me so long to say what I want to say. Sometimes when I start to say something, I realize that I do not know the words for what I want to say. I then have to start over using different words that I do know.

My professor had been asking me to write compostions 1 to 2 pages long on different topics like my brother´s wedding, my life in california, etc. I would write them for homework at night. At the beginning of class, I would read them to her and she would correct the grammer. I would then tell her what I wrote in the story without looking at the story. Since I could do this well, she did not know I was struggling so much with speaking.

I told her that I was very frustrated and could not speak well. She told me that I always told her the stories I wrote and the stories we read in class well. I confessed that I had pretty much memorized them after writing them, reading them, and the telling them to her. She asked me if I tried to talk to anyone else besides her. I told her that rarely did because I did not think that I was able to speak correctly and did not like to get corrected by out house mom.

She then encouraged me that the only way I was going to learn to speak was to try to speak to anyone about anything and not worry about mistakes. At this point if I get my point across, it is a success. She then said that she would prove to me that I was able to talk correctly even if it was slow.

She asked me to tell her every detail of how my family celebrated Christmas when a few years ago. Off I went telling her about the details. She would correct me every once in a while. She would ask a question to keep the story going or guide the story in another direction. One thing lead to another and before I knew it, she had me talking for an hour straight. She said that she could understand everything I told her and then proceeded to summarize it. I was amazed that she truly did understand what I had said and had not corrected me every other word. Zoila smiled and said, "see, you can talk. Right now it is better to be slow and correct. Speed will come. The more you try to talk, the easier it will be."

I do feel much more comfortable talking with Zoila. I am still very uncomfortable talking with strangers. I get uncomfortable because I want everything to be right. I know it is unresonable standard, but I am working on it. I tell you though, the desire to learn another language besides English is deepened everytime I meet someone else that can speak multiple languages. Most people around here speak multiple languages. The Europeans we meet all speak 3-4 languages. Amazing! I guess I will keep plugging away and hopefully be able to speak sufficiently in Spanish.