Madagascar

The day after finding out the news from McKenzie Institute, I heard from Mercy Ships. I will be going to Madagascar by way of South Africa. Yes, you read that correctly. I will be meeting the Africa Mercy in Capetown on October 12th. I will then sail to Madagascar. It is amazing to me that God is blessing me with desires of my heart one after another this week.

Since I was a little girl, I have wanted to travel to Madagascar to enjoy His unique creation on the island. Many of the insect, animal, and plant species are only living there. I remember posting beautiful sunsets with silhouetted trees on the last slide of power point presentations in school. I saw an episode on a travel channel several years ago about one of the people groups living in Madagascar. I thought it would be fascinating to travel there. I put it in the box of maybe one day in my brain. I also thought it would be a neat experience to sail on the ship. I have never sailed on a large ship.

Although I am glad to have a date and destination, I will admit I am a little nervous. The type I always get with transition. The mix: uncertainty of the unknown, excitement of change, the adventure of new places and meeting new people, thoughts about sleeping and eating a diet different than my preferences, eating at set times, the thoughts about learning new skills, wondering if I will catch on quickly enough, will the flights and sail be smooth, will I remember to bring what I need?

It is times like these that I really miss Mom. So much has gone on in a short amount of time that I would want to share with her: accomplishments, dreams met, pondering about life, questions of where I will be and what I will do in the future. Sometimes I wonder if Mom knows what has occurred in my life in the past 6 years. 

While I think of her often, missing her comes at unexpected times. Yesterday, I had the opportunity to walk on the beach during high tide at sunset. All of a sudden, I missed her. Walking on the beach was something we enjoyed together. I wanted to share the recent happening with her. Mom enjoyed the ocean waves crashing, long walks on the beach, the breeze on your skin, wet sand under your feet with periodic waves covering them, sunrises, sunsets, looking for shells and the occasional whole sand dollar or starfish.

Whether she knows or not, I am thankful for the good foundation she and Dad provided with God's help. It has enabled me to branch out, explore, try new things, pursue dreams. I am thankful for special times we had together, the things she taught me about life and the world, security to be myself, and most of all how to keep Jesus first in life. 

Well, that was likely more than you bargained for reading in a blog. I will keep you posted on the continued adventures in life. 

Seasonal Change

Well the wait is over. I have had so many emotions and thoughts this week. I am going to try to write them down. It will likely be in several blogs. Where to start?  Many of you know that I have been slowly working on a McKenzie certification. Like most things in life, I did it the hard way. I became interested in the physical therapy treatment technique for spine when I started working in outpatient orthopedics.

 In order to be certified, one has to take 4 classes and sit for a written and practical exam. The classes and exams are given different dates and places all around the country. There is about 5-6 hours of written test followed by a practical exam. This exam is unique as there is not practice exams and only 4-5 practice questions. No one knows what the exam is truly like until taking it. The practical is performing three of the 100ish techniques that are selected at random on the professors who are grading you. It may have changed now, but there is a 60% first time pass rate.

When I took the classes they were all 3.5 days long. There for to take the classes, travel time and money, time off work, place to stay, and tuition for the course are all necessary. Due to the circumstances, it took me a couple years to take all the classes. Most physical therapists who continue taking classes beyond the first two have certification as a goal.  While I was taking the classes, I had no intention of sitting for the exam. Testing of any sort has always been a challenge for me. The way God created my mind, I have to study differently than many. It takes extra time to rewrite material in different form prior to being able to study it.  I just did not want to put the time and effort required to do so.

I took the last class just prior to heading to Guatemala which began my two years of traveling. The more I considered it, the more I thought it would be nice to have the certification for all the work and money I had already put towards it. I, however, did not see how that was possible traveling and practicing alone or with people who were not familiar with the technique. In September 2013, I began the process of studying. Working in a rural setting aided in fostering the discipline to study before and after work. I continued studying until March. The weekend prior to leaving for Mercy Ships this spring, I sat for the exam in Chicago. The complicating factor was I had limited practice during the two years of travel therapy and was not around any therapists who were McKenzie trained since winter 2012.

Nonetheless, I did my best. The written proved difficult. I let nerves get the best of me during the practical. I knew as soon as I finished the practical that I did not pass that part. God was faithful and provided fellowship with one friend from Bay Cliff Summer Camp and another friend from Messiah College the evening after the test. I was very glad when I found out  for sure while on the ship that I had passed the written.  I knew how to study differently for the practical. I, however, would not have known what to do differently to pass the written.

The McKenzie Institute has provision and allows one to retake only the written or only the practical. The timing of retaking the practical was complicated by my service dates with Mercy Ships. The way the timing worked out, I was able to concentrate on studying the practical part for the better part of August. I practiced on a certified clinician, family, friends, rewrote steps of all the procedures multiple times, and prayed for His peace.  I retook the practical portion the first weekend of September. Immediately prior to taking the exam I received notification that one of my flights in my itinerary home was canceled.  I decided to deal with that after the exam.

This time, I felt more confident, yet due to nerves was not sure I had performed what I knew. The results would come about two weeks after taking the exam. Not being certain I had passed, I set in my mind to work at a McKenzie clinic when I returned from Mercy Ships.  Then again, I may just give up on it and continue practicing the techniques as one of my tools without the certification. God again blessed me with friends to fellowship with immediately after taking the exam. The longer I waited for the results, the more sure I was that I did not pass again.

Dad  had my permission to open any mail that came from McKenzie Institute while I was not in Charlotte. He called me Thursday to tell me he received something from McKenzie. It was a certificate! I had passed the practical. I could not believe it. I asked him again if it really was a certificate. I am so relieved this season is over. God is good! His timing and faithfulness was woven throughout the process. It will be interesting to see how God uses it in the future. The next place of learning will be on the Africa Mercy. 

Meeting a Role Model

There are few things that meet our expectations in life. I had a wonderful experience this past Monday. Let me back up a minute. I am currently waiting to hear from Mercy Ships when and where I will be serving. In the meantime, no employer wants to hire me for short term with flexible end date. I understand this. This, has given me the liberty to do activities and see people I would not ususally be able to during the work day. I heard an announcement on a Christian radio station while I was scanning the channels driving somewhere. The only information I caught was that Joni Eareckson Tada was going to be at Billy Graham Library September 8th. When I returned home I looked at the library's website. Sure enough. Joni was going to be there for a book signing and was going to speak first around 1:30.

I do not know how many of you know of or who Joni Eareckson Tada is. She is a Christian woman whose life was drastically changed at the young age of 17. After breaking her neck in a diving accident 47 years ago, she became quadriplegic. She also fought breast cancer a few years ago. She has been married to Ken Tada for 32 years (I think 32 years). God has used her to write 50 books, travel to 47 countries where she works with the disabled and spreads Jesus's love practically with wheelchairs and speaking engagements. Through her tragedy, God has brought so much hope and encouragement to the physically disabled and physically able. She has been honest and open with her journey processing why this happened, why she survived, why she was not healed physically, fought depression, doubt, anger, joy, peace, relationship with God. Romans 8 comes to mind. God will work all things out for the good of those who love Him and are called according to his purposes. She obviously wanted and still wants to be healed physically, but has allowed God to use her. She has no doubt encouraged more people and pointed them to Jesus due to having quadriplegia than she likely would have without it.

My parents exposed us to children and adults with disabilities from a young age. I knew they went to therapy or therapy came to their house to help them grow and develop. When I was about 8 years old, I read one of Joni's books written for young children called Meet My Friends. The book described three children's daily lives. It also included their journey to accepting their disability and finding a special benefit of having it. For example, the boy who used a wheelchair performed more pullups than any other child in his class.  I remember thinking how neat to love people for who they are.

As many of you know, I now have a career in physical therapy. One of the main reasons I chose this career was to be able to offer hope to those who are hurting and help them return to living life the best they can now. Life may be very different, but it is not over. I have always respected people like Joni who keep living life to the fullest but are honest about the reality of the ups and downs and leaning on God.

 I arrived to the signing at a great time as I was close to the front of the stage where she spoke. I also was standing in line with a couple who was celebrating their 28 year wedding anniversary. Their son was in occupational therapy school. Joni's speech was a wonderful expression of trusting God is good, faithful, and able to heal. He, however, sometimes chooses to heal us deeper than the physical body. He has ultimately taken the worse suffering away by dying on the cross and rising again. If we accept Him as Lord and Savior, we will not suffer eternally. He can use the suffering here on earth to refine us individually making us more like Jesus. He can use the suffering to help us bless others who are also suffering. She ended with hope that we are all to be used by God to love people.

The  number of people in attendance was about 200. We were allowed to have two books signed. She signed 400 books by holding a pen in her mouth. I had her sign the Meet My Friends book and her new book Beside Bethesda. When she saw the Meet My Friends book, she replied, "Oh, I love this book. It is an old one." It was a wonderful afternoon meeting one of my role models in person. Something I never even knew was possible as she travels a lot and lives in California. It was a wonderful reminder to me that God knows where I am and what is happening in my life. He choses to bless us with experiences like this sometimes. It is good for the heart.  I gave me the boost of encouragement to keep trusting God for His timing and direction. No matter where I am, be honest with Him and allow Him to work through me to love people.

Table for One

Have you ever noticed how themes in life seem to occur. One of the themes in my life this past month is singleness and marriage. I have had a couple friends this month facing the decision of divorce; I have traveled alone; I have felt almost shunned for being single; I have felt accepted and love for being single, I have enjoyed fellowship with couples and singles over the past month. This is a long blog processing some of my thoughts on the topic all in one place. I hesitated to post this, as like many blogs, here it is my unfinished thoughts and raw processing There is not any highlighting for a quick read as this is more a stream of consciousness. (I guess, you can skim if you want a quick read :) )

Often people ask why I am not married. I usually answer with the candid, "I have not found the right one." I truly only want to marry once. I have dated, but not found a true companion and partner in life. I have been raised with a high respect for marriage and singleness. Ideally, I only want to marry once and remain married. I am not under false illusions. I know marriage is challenging and requires continuous work and good communication from both parties.  I would rather be single than in a very difficult, unhealthy marriage.

With divorce, like most things in life, there is more than meets the public eye. Although judgement should be withheld until details are known, it seems the culture has lost the will or desire to keep the vows made before God and with their partner. Our culture, as a whole, has lost appreciation for marriage and the significance of the vows taken before God with the spouse on that wonderful day.  The wedding day can often be the focus for up to a year or more of planning. Many couples do not think or plan for the actual marriage. How are they going to communicate conflict, love, service, partnership, finances. Yes, many of these change over time but need to be thought about before. It seems to me (keep in mind, I am single) that if these were at least discussed honestly some divorces or major conflicts during marriage could be eased, if not avoided. (This is of course is if vows are taken. I have several friends who have chosen to share life together, but not officially become married.)

I also have be raised around several godly people who have been single their whole life (never even lived with a boyfriend or girlfriend) and are now in late fifties. I have seen those who have been single for many years after losing a spouse whether through death or divorce remain single. I have seen God bring first time marriages together of folks who have been single into their forties. No way is better or a higher calling than the other.

While I do honestly believe the aforementioned, being single at this age is not a piece of cake. There are many times in life that I do desire to have a true partner. While I do enjoy the freedom of being single, there are limitations being a female and single. For instance, due to safety concerns, I do not hike by myself in the wilderness of National Parks,go backpacking, or go places at night by myself. It is easier to travel with someone (not even a spouse necessarily). It is helpful to have someone be navigator, help look out for signs, make decisions together regarding what to do and navigating changed in itineraries, having someone to share the experiences with in the present and to remember with in the future. As a fellow crewmate stated on Mercy Ships, "It would be nice to have a partner to share the joy of life, the responsibilities of daily life and make decisions together."

While this is true, there is a world to explore and people to meet. Being an introvert at heart, it often takes a big self-pep talk and courage from Jesus to go to free museums days, line dancing, hiking groups, markets, new places, events and the like without knowing anyone. It is "safer"to stay at home/in alone. Since we were created for community, not trying new things and getting out and about some is a recipe for depression and loneliness. God has been faithful providing someone to befriend me at almost every outing, begin lasting friendships, fulfill life-long dreams, and see some new parts of his creation in these past two years of traveling. 

Previously, I had avoided going to nicer sit down restaurants. I admired those few who you see who come with a book or laptop and eat alone simply because they want to do so. It shows such confidence to me. Sure there are places like Panera, Chipotle, Moe's etc that it is acceptable to go alone, but sometimes you just want something different. Twice in the past couple months, I decided to go to a nicer restaurants because they were recommended, I had the time, and was in the area. Both times, I felt ostracized. Sure, a single person does not give as much tip, but we are still humans and can eat wherever we want. I did not sit at the bar at the first place as there was not one. The second place I did not want to order a drink, and therefore did not want to take up a place in a busy restaurant at the bar.  The first one, I asked for a table of one. They did seat me, but off in a corner. It took a while for a waiter to come and take my order. He was pleasant, but wanted me to hurry through the meal.  I ate and left as quickly as I could.  The second time, I was seated at a table off the the side of a main pathway that was clearly not being used for patrons. The waitress rarely came to refill drinks or check on me but was checking on neighboring tables. It was like I may as well been wearing a scarlet letter "S" for being single.

The church I have been attending in Charlotte get kudos for making people who are single for whatever reason (widow, divorced, never married) feel like they belong to the church body. The are in leadership positions of Sunday School teachers, on committees, lead service projects, keep the nursery, lead small groups, are integrated into the larger church body. I would honestly say that I truly feel like I belong...No scarlet "S". In fact, during the last sermon series based on Matthew 19, singleness was held on the same level of marriage as a godly lifestyle. We are all needed in the family of God.

Some points spoken I had not given much thought to before, and some I have. Singleness can be a gift. Paul refers to it as such. Some people are meant to be single. Many of the great "faith heros" were single (Daniel, Paul, Elijah, Elisha, Anna and Simenon in the temple, etc). This is still a hard possibility for me to swallow. Another thought, marriage is an example to us of how Christ loves the church. Singleness is an example of how the church loves Christ. The freedom singleness provides allows us the flexibility and time to serve Jesus and the church body more. Singles are integral to the church body. We have a place. We are not the leftovers or outcasts. It is a high calling to be single just as it is a high calling to be married. No one needs another person to complete them, to fulfill them, to accomplish their dreams. Although it is hard to remember and live out, every human can only be made complete with a relationship with Jesus.

So without further ado, I will press on living life to the fullest the best I know how at the moment. God and I will continue to have adventures. Maybe one day the adventures of life will include a true life partner, husband. If not, I pray God will continue to grant me the grace and wisdom to a blessing to others in the freedom to love and serve others without the responsibility of a family. Also, I pray for the ability to trust in His goodness and faithfulness in my life. Off I go to meet new people and keep the current relationships.  The more people I meet, the more I realize how similar we are. We are all trying our best to live life. Life has rough patches, fulfilled dreams, buckets lists, unexpected circumstances, and second chances. I truly enjoy hearing peoples stories and sharing Jesus's love in practical ways. It is rare I truly have a table for one, but in those cases I can be confident that I am not truly alone. Jesus is there.