Trail Markers

Walking by the Eno River for a couple hours on an unexpected day off provided a place for my mind to wander freely. I had intended to go to a different area of the park, but the directions were unclear. I decided to stay where I was and wander there. Several loop trails that can be attached to each other provided scenery of the shallow river and the woods. 

Although the animals were not as exotic as some recent places I have walked, I was delighted to see a fawn scamper away. Sunning turtles plop into the water off the log when I walked by them, an egret standing tall in the river, and several different species of butterflies fluttering around. Several flowers and fungi I had not seen were also fun spot. 

One reason I enjoy wandering, as aforementioned, is my mind is free to wander as well.  The once common walks after dinner, the walks in the gardens, the walks without a goal when ideas were freely discussed, pondered, and meditated are becoming uncommon. Usually if we are walking, we are walking with the purpose of exercise or transportation. We have an intention or focus. Wandering in nature often puts life back into perspective for me. Seeing things we would miss if we were in a hurry or focus on other things. I am reminded the world is bigger than what is going on inside my head or life.

On the walk today, I kept my eye out for the trail blazes.  One time when I was not confident I was on the trail I wanted, I thought the following: trail blazes let us know we are still on the correct path. If we maintain our direction, we will encounter another trail blaze confirming the way. I was struck how this is the way life with God often unfolds. We have a general game plan/trail map. We were created for his glory, our standards for living are in the Bible, we will eventually die and move into eternity. We, however, do not know what all the twists and turns of life will bring. We cannot see beyond the curve or over the hill. Like on an unknown trail, we yearn for confirmation we are where we are supposed to be. Sometimes they are more difficult to find than others. 

This was a trail in Joshua Tree...It looks like one right?

These carins were the trail markers that were scattered throughout the rocks to indicate the trail.

Look for the carins to find the trail down.

If we continue to move forward day to day with what we do know is true and right, God will give us markers. Sometimes, He will not reveal what is exactly is next, but confirm His presence and knowledge with us in the present. Just as I was getting tired of fighting for the truth in my mind and soul without a trail marker, one came in the sermon on Sunday. The sermon was on Psalm 73. It begins with the psalmist having a tantrum about how the wicked seem to be flourishing. In the middle of the psalm he goes to the sanctuary where he sees the sacrifices and is reminded of God's grace. The psalm ends with his focus returned to the goodness of God being all sufficient. Nothing in the world or his circumstances has changed that we know of, but he has a renewed understanding of the goodness of God.

These past two months, I have weekly and sometimes daily been reminded that this life does not last forever. No one is guaranteed tomorrow. While this is true all the time, interacting with children and adults after a sudden traumatic death or slow tough battle with cancer keeps this in the forefront.  Also, I have a close friend who is in his last days of his fight with ALS. A coworker of mine lost her mother in a car crash two weeks ago. The anniversary of Mom passing is around the corner. Trying to figure out how to be with the people, how to love them, how to be deal with it myself are all challenging. I think subconsciously I was trying to not deal with it by keeping busy. Business = no time to think/process/feel. 

Wanting to be perfect and knowing deep down that God is good, I was not giving myself freedom to question His goodness. The sermon Sunday not only reminded me it is okay to question, it is often the only way through the feeling and emotion. We are allowed to have the tanturms as long as we bring them to God. He usually helps us get over them. One way He and I do is by wandering in nature. This helps me renew my perspective. We are part of something bigger than ourselves. If we are Christian, we belong to God's family. Like Matthew  reminds us, if the birds of the air and the flowers of the field are beautiful and provided for, what do I have to worry about. God does not change. He is still good even when circumstances and feelings and emotions cloud our beliefs. I  am thankful for the trail markers along the path of life.

We are part of God's bigger beautiful story that began before us and will continue after us. 

Even though we feel very small and unnoticed, God does see us and care about us.